Crazy Crazy

Well, I should stop starting out my blogs with I haven't written in awhile. Because that should just be understood by now that most likely I won't be saying much very often.  But, I am going to say something now. This is titled crazy crazy because I AM CRAZY CRAZY. Absolutely nuts. I don't remember what Stephen told me exactly but it was something along the lines of I need to cool down when we were out at dinner tonight. I was all sorts of fired up. But, it all started with me trying to organize a group hang out. I have realized time after time I cannot organize anything with a group of people. Especially when it's at Buffalo Wild Wings. My brother's surprise birthday party in December was supposed to be at Buffalo Wild Wings... so much for that. it was a disaster and tonight trying to get a group of friends together was a disaster as well. So, I was stressing all about that because I accidentally fell asleep for an hour (story of my life... I can't stay up for anything anymore. I don't know what happened to me but I must be turning into an old woman. The old women at work are really changing me to become like them.). But, eventually we did go to Buffalo Wild Wings (just Stephen and I after I failed with the group gathering completely) and it was pretty great except for me being completely NUTS. But, I do have one thing to blame this moodiness on and that would be PMS. Yupp, I'm using it and I'm writing about it on a public blog. I'm going to try to explain it so men who don't understand women's mood changes can get a little bit of insiders on it. Not that I am specifically reaching out to anyone. More than anything this is just a vent session with my thoughts, trying to understand why things are the way they are and why I am where I am right now.
So, when I am going crazy it's like someone just left the kitchen sink on with the plug and there is no way to go shut the water off. All you can do is wait for it to overflow. Then, the only way to stop it is to shut the water in the whole house off which is really complicated for some reason. But, basically I get set in one place and I can't stand what's going on. It really doesn't matter what the situation is, big or little if it is even remotely disturbing to my happiness, that's it. I can't do it. The sink is stopped and overflowing I'm done for. I am actually so nervous for whenever I am pregnant because I am going to be one of those absolutely insane pregnant ladies that is just super grumpy and needy. I am not really looking forward to being THAT at all. Now, children I'm excited for.
But, that's kind of exactly what happened today. I'm so crazy. But, I've only been home for about a half an hour and I already have it all under control. I'm not even a little bit upset. I'm also happy. But, it didn't matter all night I was trying to just be happy, but for some strange reason I just couldn't do it. Now, don't get me wrong. I was happy all night. I just had a few other issues. I was just letting my craziness overpower me. Can I get a YIKES. A new goal is just to be able to get this craziness under control. I'm really thinking I will get there. Any emotion can be controlled. Now, I just need to be more actively choosing happiness and life will be much simpler. I need to fight through these ridiculous stages of PMS emotion and just be happy! I think that I need to be a little better in other aspects of my life first. :) Now for onto CHOOSING HAPPINESS :) :)