Motivation

I know I've already posted today, but I had some time to think while I was on a bike ride with my brother today. I was absolutely dying while I was riding. I'm beyond out of shape right now and yet I want to do all these things that are athletic. I'm ridiculous to think that I can do things when I haven't been exercising regularly or even at all. So, while I was struggling to make the 4 or 5 mile bike ride and keep up with my brother I started to think. What would help me to go faster, do better. Maybe the option of getting rid of my little extra weight on me? Getting home and going to my bed and just being able to rest? Catching up to my brother who kept having to stop and wait for me? Getting ready to actually achieve my goals? Nope. I couldn't do it, I couldn't get deep enough in my brain to find any motivation. I kept thinking I can't do this. I just can't. It was horrible. Because obviously I could do it! I did, I'm here I made it through. But, what could I have done to have done it all a little better? Or to have been okay with it while I was out in the heat? I needed better MOTIVATION. I couldn't wait for it to be over, but that's usual. I think so many people can agree doing something that's difficult for your body to do it's really hard to overpower your mind over your body. It's such a huge deal. As my old track and cross country coach used to drill into our heads, "don't be a mental midget." A mental midget is what I definitely was today. I couldn't find a way for my mind to over power my body. I couldn't find a good way to be motivated. But, I'm going to. Tomorrow I'm going to redeem myself I hope. I'm going to dig and find my motivation, I'm not sure what is yet but I'm determined to find it! I kind of know what my goals are. So, I need to find a way to achieve those goals. But, of course before I can get motivated, I need to be happy. So, I choose it! I choose happiness.