Hurt

So, I'm just going to straight up share my story. I've been dating a guy for a little while now. But, I have known him for even longer. So, it wasn't really necessary to "take things slow in the beginning". There wasn't much talking, we just basically started going on dates. We had a great time when we went out. We have a lot of chemistry. His only problem. He's not a member. I guess the reality of him not being a member became apparent last week at my work party. He had a sip of rum. To the world it's just a sip of rum. To me, it was a reality check. We may not have kissed yet (multiple reasons for that), but we did have a connection and to the outside world we looked like we were together holding hands. I wasn't just going to let it pass from my mind and all week I couldn't let it slip. We had a great time last night and today we went shopping. Afterward we were driving back and I started talking out of the blue (I wasn't even thinking about it!) about how I hate dating and don't like how he isn't mormon. It's really interesting how the Lord works. I've been praying to understand how to get over my feelings for him or find a way to make it work the Lord's way. I think I figured out that really it was just something I needed to get through. He made me happy, we had a great time together, he had good values, but he didn't believe and understand the gospel. Holding the priesthood has always been at the top of my list for "the perfect husband". He would always talk about how the purpose of dating is worth the risk and that you never know if your prince or princess is right in front of you. He wasn't saying I was his princess and he didn't say it in that context, but he was right, the purpose of dating is to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, regardless of what the rest of the world believes. To him, right now this seems really unfair. He is upset with me because he knows that I knew I wasn't going to marry him from day one of meeting him. He doesn't understand why I even dated him in the first place. Faith doesn't just change attraction. When you have so much interaction with someone it's hard to resist the connection you have. I feel horrible for what place he is in right now. But, I know it was what was best for me. My testimony was strengthened through this experience. I realized how important eternal marriage is. I want those blessings stated in my patriarchal blessing. I want to be able to return to my Heavenly Father one day and say I did what you asked, I followed the path you paved for me. I want him to embrace me and say, I know it was hard but I'm glad you did it. I didn't know I needed to better understand the importance of eternal marriage to my personal life but I think I did. It was a rough thing for me to even date with how big of an introvert I have become, but I think the outcome is good. I'm grateful for this little piece of strange added to my life. I choose happiness. 

The Best

Days like today, they need to be documented. I'm just going to list all of the things that were amazing today instead of trying to make everything flow through sentences. 

I woke up on the right side of the bed

I was able to work and worked with amazing co-workers

Patients were overall good today 

Lunch was free and it was from Jason's Deli... AMAZING

I got out of work almost on time

I found out my car is going to be fixed before Christmas

I found out I'll be getting $500 BACK with however all the repairs worked on my car

When I got to class I found out I got a 95% on my first test in my Anat and Phys class

Class didn't have me nodding off today

Class got out an hour and 40 minutes early

I got to come home and relax 

I had time to blog

Today was truly spectacular and the rest of my week is going to be even better :) tomorrow a night with the boy before he goes to work and Saturday baking with the AND everyone comes home Saturday! All those BYU and BYUI people home for the holidays! Including my MARISSA!!! :D I can't wait to see her! I love having her around. :) I can't wait until they move here (I guess if they move here. I'm praying!) I have so many things to be grateful for! I'm so blessed! 

I choose happiness :]

Concussion

This is the second concussion of the year. I keep wondering if this is a wake up call. And as the day went on. I stayed at church, listened to wonderful lessons, felt a very strong spirit, and I even bore my testimony in sacrament meeting today. I want to publically bear my testimony in writing. I know there is a living Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They are true beings whom we can communicate with through prayer. Through the blessing of the Holy Ghost I can feel the love of my Savior. Especially through the power of priesthood blessings. I have been given so many blessings in the past few years and many of them are for something with my head. I'm surrounded by worthy priesthood holders and I couldn't be more blessed. I made it through church today because of a blessing. I made it through 2012 because of many blessings. I'm grateful for the scriptures. They bring so many answers that I need personally. I know there is a living prophet on the earth today who is here to lead and and guide us. I know that families can be together forever. I know that I was placed with the family I have for so many reasons and I am so grateful for all of them. They are my rocks. I know we are on this earth for a reason. It's hard to be here and to be human. But, it is such a huge blessing. I am so grateful for this life and for the people that have been set in my path. The gospel is real. I'm so grateful for it. I choose happiness.