Be Happy

This is my first post in awhile. I have been really caught up in what's that called again? Oh yeah.. LIFE. But, nothing exciting at all has happened. So, it's not like I have to catch up my blog with "all that's happened" which is a huge plus really. I have been thinking a lot lately though. I've been making those long four hour drives by myself to Utah weekly and I have had so much time to think. And the other day I was thinking about how happy I was and how great life was when you were happy. I wasn't exactly having everything in my life perfect, as a matter of fact a lot of things were semi falling apart at the time. But, since I take pain medications often for my headaches all my roommates were wondering why I was spreading the word about happiness. I was happy that day and I DID NOT CARE WHO KNEW IT. It was really great actually. It was a glimpse of the old Amanda back in my life. And by the old Amanda I sadly do not mean the skinny faced, skinny stomach, and no muffin topped hips Amanda. Just the happy Amanda, which is really the most important one. But, the issue with all of that is really that I have not been the (so I've been called) "Happy Go Lucky Amanda" I once was. But, I think it was last Friday I was for the first time in quite awhile. It felt great. I felt free. Then, it faded again when I went to work on Saturday. I've really noticed a difference in my life since I have been working on the weekends and the shifts I have on the weekends are 12 hour shifts. So I work from 8 AM to 8 PM. So, because of that work time I am not able to go to my ward for church. But, lucky for me on Sundays at my work members from the nearby ward come by and hold a church service at the assisted living facility I work at. So, every Sunday I get to sing hymns (sometimes play the piano or lead music for them), partake of the sacrament, and listen to a short talk. It isn't real church, but it's a lot more than what others get through working on Sundays so I am grateful for that. But, I have noticed a huge void in my life. I'm missing the most important things because I am missing church. It's extremely disappointing, but I have made it through this semester and I have surely learned my lesson. No more missing church. I also want to be more careful about what Sundays I work and how long. I used to be really good about staying focused on the Savior even while I was just working 8 hour shifts at home, attending the full church service, and being better with my personal relationship with my Savior. But, I am hoping I can just avoid working on Sundays period when I get home. I'll see how successful I get I suppose. But, who knows.

So, anyway this upcoming week is finals week and I'm really NOT excited at all. I wish that I wasn't working on Monday and  Wednesday so I could just be fine and not have to worry about working, but it's alright because I desperately need the money, so I'll make it all work. But, the sooner it's over the sooner I'm in Nebraska with my family. Now, beyond that there isn't much for me in Nebraska, but that's okay. I'm going to make the most out of it and hopefully I can better plan my future and figure out about this whole CYST THING. Yeah, I've briefly mentioned my cyst in my sinus before and when I go see another ENT in Nebraska I'll really be able to figure out if that's an issue with my head or not. Who knows, but I"m hoping I can find out who knows and they can help me out. 

Of course because I always bring up boys, I must bring them up real quick. They are everywhere, asking me on dates all over the place. They want to date me for whatever reason. And I have absolutely no interest. My problem? I have absolutely no idea. But, hopefully one day I'll figure it out. The main problem I have is all these boys that keep coming after me I have no interest for, but other ones... I've definitely had some interest in a few of them. Not anything serious, and nothing that any of them have known, but they just don't happen. I'm not just about to make any moves on any boys. They are going to have to come to me sadly, I'm a bit picky when it comes to that now. But, who knows maybe I'll grow out of this odd stage.

So, on the bright side. I have started to train for a half marathon. Yup, you read that correctly a HALF MARATHON. I have tried this before, but this time is different. This time I'm fatter than I've ever been and have so much motivation it's ridiculous!  I'm actually getting really really excited for this. My brother is training as well and we're planning on finding a race when I get home so we can sign up for it in March. I'm going to be running a half marathon in less than 5 months! It's so crazy awesome! I'm so stoked! Running really keeps me happy and eliminating that from my life the past year or so I think has really messed me up a bit. But, I'm getting back on track. Getting closer and closer to finding the old Amanda again! SHE WILL RETURN. I choose happiness :)