Jumping the Gun

This phrase has always been different to me. I just looked it up and this is what I came up with... to do something too soon, especially without thinking carefully about it. If someone running in a race jumps the gun, they start running before the gun has been fired to start the race.  I'm always jumping the gun. I think SO far into the future that I don't think about the HERE and the NOW. I think being a member of the LDS church I feel like we're supposed to look to our futures. Think about our future families, what we're going to do, how we're going to do that. I think I always look to the future. I'll look at something, like for instance, I'll be in a store and I'll see something as simple as a frame and I'll just think... I want that in my house someday. Or, I'll see something like pots and pans.... I'll picture cooking in the kitchen for my husband. And this really makes it sound like all I'm thinking about is marriage. But, no that's not the only thing I'm doing. Yes, I live in Rexburg Idaho and yes, this campus is filled with couples. Yes, they are married couples a lot of the time. Yes, there are professors that have asked about the dates that occurred over the weekend or how people's boyfriends/girlfriends are doing. 
So, can you really blame me for having marriage in the somewhat front of my head?? [maybe you can.. it's probably just me, who knows how many others feel that way around here.] Anyway, I have many other things I jump the gun on. Something as simple as freaking myself out for a weekend, or a big event. I just psych myself out so easily. I don't think it's a bad thing as LDS members to be so future oriented, I actually think that's wonderful, just lately I think I've been taking it too far. I've been living with the attitude of, "everything will work out in the end" when to be honest I don't know that it will. Especially with my classes currently, I haven't been putting fourth my full effort. It's no good! I've been so focused on.. what if this, or this happens. When will I do something more? I just need to focus on today and maybe tomorrow. Today I study for finals, tomorrow I do the same, I try my hardest to try to recover from all the screw ups I made. 


Right now I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I go to Nebraska. I have absolutely NO IDEA. I want to know what's going to happen in the next few months! SEE JUMPING THE GUN! Even right here, while I'm rambling on my blog. What a crazy person I am! But, it's okay I'm not freaking out as much as I'm making it seem. Because I am definitely choosing to be happy :D