Thinking

I am losing things to complain about. Life is so great it's difficult to even accept anything that's bad. Because really there isn't any. So, I'm trying to decide if I should continue to "choose to be happy" or if I should just start writing about things. Because in all honesty I love to write. I don't know why, because I am absolutely AWFUL at it. But, someday I'll get over that. So, today I choose to be happy. :D :D :D 

Being Home

Being at home around so much family is SO NICE. It's really great that I can come home and have such a great time with them! It was most definitely worth the 16 hours in the car. Even though I'm away from a lot of people I care about. I'm with the people I care about most. Especially during this time of year it would be much harder to be away from my family than to be with the few people close to me other places. I love my family so much and I choose to be so happy! :D :D :D

Finals week

What a stressful week! Which is EXACTLY why I'm still awake! I just accomplished quite a bit, but can't get myself to sleep. It's almost like my body is used to crazy sleep cycles. I guess it's good that I'm going home and working NIGHT shift!  I can totally handle it. But, on top of finals week I have so much going through my head about so many different things in the future! It's pretty much insane stuff. But, I am not making any sense. Even though finals are annoying, I don't really want to go home, I can't sleep. I choose to be HAPPY :)

Dating

What a complicated concept. Nobody really seems to understand; I'm definitely not going to pretend that I understand at all. It can be fun, if that's what you're looking for. The whole getting to know each other before a relationship part.. that can be so amazing! It's where you really decide how you feel about a person. Where a lot of people get rejected and never make it past the first date. Speaking of first dates. Why are they so crucial?! The girl goes and takes hours (depending on the girl of course) getting ready, picking out the perfect outfit, making her hair absolutely flawless, and then covering her imperfections with makeup. Once that torture is through, they anxiously wait for the guy to knock on her door to pick her up. The knock on the door is so nerve racking. The frantic thoughts of am I forgetting something? I hope nothing gets screwed up. I want everything to go perfect. Then, she shows up at the door and smiles. Half the time she feels overdressed because she had no clue what they were doing in the first place. Nervous as ever he kindly escorts her to his car. Hopefully mannered enough to open her door, she gets in. Still extremely nervous she leans over and opens his door before he can reach the other side. They go on the date that the guy planned [why is it like that anyway?!] The guy pays and she has a wonderful time. [This doesn't make sense to me either] Eventually the nervousness wares off or sometimes it gets worse. If it gets worse, most likely you've realized you really don't want to be around the person you're on the date with or you've realized that ALL you want to do is be around the person you're on the date with! At the end of the night there is the awkward goodnight... whatever you pick. But, we all know the goodbyes are always the most awkward. Sometimes they can be handled well but other times.. oh boy you could be in for it! But, dating can be so fun and can lead to such an awesome relationship. Oh, of course I choose to be happy! :] Actually I've been SO happy lately! :D :D ;D

Change

It's so difficult to deal with. But, everything is constantly changing and there is nothing we can do about it. There are a few things we can control but the things we can control a lot of times we CHOOSE not to control. Something like choosing to go to school far away from friends and family, then after realizing it was the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE. But, at the same time you can't accept that you chose what you wanted to do at the time, then when it didn't turn out the way you wanted, it's suddenly someone or everyone else's fault. We like to blame things on the world, things we can't control ourself. It makes us feel more like a victim. Being the victim is so easy. People tend to get on your side, feel sympathy for you, for anything in your life. So, you feel like it's okay to pity yourself. I've done it so many times. But, this is because of the many faults I have. Changes continue to come into my life especially this past year. I feel like it's made me a little more vulnerable to other things. Especially my emotions. I've done a lot of changing within myself in different ways this past year as well. I'm trying to figure out who I used to be, but I'm not sure when I'll find out who I was or if I will ever get back to that point. Not that I necessarily appreciate the person I used to be more than I do the person I am now, just that I feel that I was happier then (a year ago). I feel like the changes have piled up enough and caused enough self inflicted pain that I need to learn to ignore, not to care, not to get short or upset, and just to focus on the good. Forget about the bad and move on. All I need to do is find myself, be happy and accept change. I am accepting the changes for what they are and I choose to be happy. :]